Update: This was written in late March. Since then, I have gotten my shit together. Thank you for your concern.

As many of you who may be reading this already know, I left Scotland in early February. Everyone I’ve spoken to since I found out, in early January, that I had to leave has been understandably curious about the situation. I’ve explained it to many of you, but don’t feel slighted if I haven’t. It became a very complicated situation, one tied up in a few very personal events, so I quickly got tired telling the same story over and over. I’ve been in flux since January, but I’ve just landed in Portland. Now that the story seems to be ending, I thought I’d post a brief account (really, this is the short version) of just what the hell happened.

Short answers first.

I left because my visa extension application was rejected.
No, I didn’t do anything wrong. It was a bureaucratic issue complicated by other circumstances.
I wasn’t technically deported; I was “denied leave to remain.”
No, it wasn’t entirely my fault, nor was it entirely anyone else’s fault.
No, I didn’t want to leave.
Yes, it’s nice to be back in the US.
Yes, it’s also strange.
Yes, I had to leave most of the work I made while I was there, but most of it went to good homes.
Yes, I now live in Portland, Oregon.
Yes, I had to quit my jobs.
Yes, I know this is a bad time to be looking for work.
No, I probably can’t move back to Scotland.

The whole story:

In the weeks between when I finished school and Graduation, my friend Amanda and I received a great deal of interest in an arts-related business we had been trying to start for while from a non-profit devoted to fostering new businesses in Scotland. They made explicit statements and promises about how involved they wanted to be in our project, and I spent most of the summer working on our business plan. As time wore down on my and Amanda’s student visas, they offered to pay for a straightforward two-year extension that is available to international students, pending funding. Soon after, they became very difficult to contact, and in early October, once people had started using the term “credit crunch,” we realized that we couldn’t rely on them or their word. At the same time, the Glasgow City Council changed the terms on which we had agreed to rent a temporary space for a fundraising and promotional month-long festival for our gallery, and Amanda became less available for reasons I support without hesitation. With less than a month left on my visa, and finding the business no longer had any partners, a space, or funding, I shelved that project and focused on getting a job, a visa, and a studio.

I start the explanation there, because the delay in applying for my visa is the first step in answering why I didn’t get it. The second part started long before, with some medical issues in my family. My mother was scheduled for a second round of surgery in January that had become life-threatening the first time, a year before. Having been in Scotland for the first surgery, I wanted to be around for the second one. It didn’t seem possible or useful to do that, so I planned on spending December in Michigan with my family helping her prepare. So, by the time I sent in my visa application at the end of October, I had a ticket back to Michigan for the month of December.

The next step emerges, in my opinion, from the intersection of confusing wording in the visa application with increased pressures to limit immigration to the UK. For the application, you must send a variety of documents proving that you are eligible. Throughout the application, the term “original document” means a document that is not a copy. I now know that when referring to the document proving that one has graduated from a UK institution, this term also means the _first_ document -- the original diploma. My diploma was in the US with my family, so I checked with the registry office at my school. They said that they were familiar with the visa requirements, and they handed me a stamped, signed document, saying “This is what you need.”

Though official estimates said that my visa had at least a 70% chance of being processed before I left for the US in the second week of December, it didn’t arrive until four days later. I had been rejected on the grounds that I hadn’t sent the first document saying that I had graduated -- my diploma -- but I had a two-week appeal period in which I could have fixed it by sending my diploma. Unfortunately, the application arrived in a tattered, hand-lettered envelope without any government markings. So when I asked my flatmates if my visa application had arrived while I was in the UK, it got lost in the holiday shuffle. I didn’t know about it until I arrived back in the UK in early January, on a temporary passport which had been stamped with tourist status at the border. By then, the two-week appeal period had passed, and by reentering the UK as a tourist, I invalidated the entire process. I was no longer legally able to work in the UK, I had lost the £400 application fee, and was only allowed to stay for another 6 months.

So, not having the means to vacation and pay rent in Scotland, I had to disassemble my life as quickly as possible. Most of my friends and one of my employers were incredibly supportive and kind to me during my last month in Scotland, for which I am still grateful. So in early February, after a dramatic, expensive, and busy month, I got on another plane back to Michigan, stopping in Dublin for a day on the way back.

I spent another month in Michigan, this time helping my mother recover. My friends and family were, again, exceptionally kind and helpful. I’m very happy to say that my mother’s recovery went smoothly and she’s doing very well.

I left Michigan for the West Coast in the first week of February. I stopped in San Francisco for about two weeks before I came to Portland. Those of you who know why I went know that it was for very personal reasons. So, for those of you who know, I’ll just say that it was a very nice visit, things went well, and I’m happy about continuing on to Portland. (Of course it’s not that simple, but things are good.) I arrived yesterday, and it feels good to be here, though confusing.

Now for why I can’t return to Scotland anytime soon. You may have noticed that this whole saga hasn’t been very conducive to full-time employment. Though I’ve technically had five jobs since I graduated, this whole process has been a huge financial strain. Beyond that, I’ve only had one month of productive studio time. In the interest of eating and painting regularly, I need to stop getting on a plane with limit-pushing baggage every couple of months. Also, I am no longer eligible for this visa.

To reapply from outside the UK, I need to show that I have about $4,000 at my disposal, and that I have had it for three months prior to my application. I also have to reapply within 12 months of graduation. To fit both of these requirements, I would have had to put that money in an account of my name before March 13. It’s pretty hard to turn up $4,000 on short notice without a job nowadays, so I haven’t done that. Even if I had, it would cost another $500 to apply again. Using the visa would mean picking up stakes once again and moving back to the UK with no job, apartment, or studio and then having to sort out my visa once again two years later. So, at the moment, I just can’t do that. I’ll go back one day, but right now I can’t say when or for how long.